Leaving Vienna
January never ends. Does it?
I’m graduating with joy but packing my house with sorrows. I listen to YouTube videos at night and take higher doses of antihistamines to sleep longer and more soundly. It’s fair to say that the past few months have been some of the hardest I’ve had to endure in a long time, but here I am—done. I’m done with Vienna, done with emptying our three-story house, done with my endless to-do lists, and ready for change. After seven years of constant change, travel, study programs, and countless opportunities, I’m closing one chapter and uncertain about how to open the next one.
Becoming the product is finally coming to a finished product.
In 2021, after graduating from art school and wanting to maintain a sense of rigor in my practice and research, I launched a podcast titled Becoming the Product, where I published research on digital and internet cultures once a month. At the time, I wasn’t entirely sure what I wanted to achieve, but I knew I wanted to challenge myself to read and produce research beyond my interpretations, eager to share it with the world. That same year, I encountered Geert Lovink at the Institute of Network Cultures and discovered the work of Joshua Citarella online. These encounters profoundly shaped my practice, which became increasingly experimental over time. Back then, I could never have imagined how much inspiration and impact these two figures would later have on my daily work and theoretical explorations.
With the podcast, my goal was to establish a routine of reading, researching, and archiving my findings. Originally envisioned as a project linking personal experiences and reflections to broader theories, the concepts and topics didn’t always come easily. Yet, true to my interests, I frequently gravitated toward all things digital: Chip War and Worldwide Fabs, The Phenomenology of the Augmented Life, The Digital Mundane: Risk and Potential. Using concrete examples and theoretical frameworks, I approached these topics speculatively and experimentally—not seeking to be "right" or "wrong," but to offer reflections on the digital and technocratic landscapes we navigate daily.
Three years later, Becoming the Product has 29 episodes and 116 followers on SoundCloud. Measured by metrics alone, this might seem like a modest trajectory. But when I reflect on the dedication and energy I’ve poured into each episode, it feels deeply rewarding. It’s perhaps a little disheartening to admit the project hasn’t gained enough traction for me to truly "become the product." Still, it’s also fair to acknowledge that I never really tried to monetize or promote it in earnest. I researched, published, and rarely mentioned payment or recognition—almost as if I were waiting for some miraculous intervention.
As an independent writer and researcher, I’ve had to sustain my critical internet research as a "hobby" for most of my adult life. My practice was rarely funded by patrons or institutions and was instead supported by side jobs I secured through the gig economy (e.g., Fiverr, Upwork). Like many others, I’ve been a precarious researcher producing knowledge online, operating under the assumption that critical thinking couldn’t be financially sustained. This is why I took on freelance gigs and corporate side jobs—it was the only way to support my creative and critical work.
In an ideal society, things would be different. Artists and critical thinkers would have opportunities to deliver their work in less precarious, more supportive contexts, and funding opportunities would be more equitably distributed. Critical and creative work should not be treated as free, inferior, or inadequate. However, as we face an increasingly complex world, with right-wing agendas on the rise globally (including in Europe), it feels more urgent than ever to examine models of Critical Internet Research. These models exemplify how critical thinking can thrive outside institutional frameworks and regulations and highlight how such work has been sustained over time.
The essays and interviews in my upcoming research are not about the podcast or my practice. Instead, they reflect on the work of Critical Internet Researchers—their methods, models, and the questions surrounding the future of their platforms. Within this context, Becoming the Product serves as a method for producing and reflecting on how one can adapt to remain visible and consumable online. Along the way, I’ve had the privilege of working with people who inspired and supported me such as Geert Lovink, Joshua Citarella, and Sophie Publig, and for that, I’m forever grateful.
The book is now entering production, and I’ll update you on its progress and potential delivery. For now, I need to pack my boxes, empty this house, get my diploma, and leave Vienna.
(Side note, I’ll be in Paris and Amsterdam over the next few months, working on projects, conducting research, and trying to map out the next steps and places for my future. If you’re nearby or interested in collaborating on research or projects, feel free to reach out. I’d love to reconnect, brainstorm, and spend time together!)
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